it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
