What a fucking waste of an outfit
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Also, beer. Big fan.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
