smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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