just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
