I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
