so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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