She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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