i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
