After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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