9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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