i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
