And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize