And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
