xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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