you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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