It's like God shit irony all over that family
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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