i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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