Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
