I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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