Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize