Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
