Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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