it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize