just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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