Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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