i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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