bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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