so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
