I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
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I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
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Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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