bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
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