you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
