1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
