uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize