Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i will never coherently bang her
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
