that's an acceptable place to lick
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
MIDGETS
????
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
