Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
