wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
True but thats because hes a fetus.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
