Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
