Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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