Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
