I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
