Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize