tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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