Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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