at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
