If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
