This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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