What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
