So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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