I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
