Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize