Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
