it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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