Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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