Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
