i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
not ubering you a puppy
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
