okay pat passed out under dana's car
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
This is the high leading the old right now
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
