that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
