I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
